Matt Whistler’s ‘T-Rex In The City’ blog

» Mad Matt

This week’s venture into the unknown saw Matt try to get a date dressed as the original 20th century boy, Marc Bolan, and blog about his efforts to ‘get it on’.

“Well, if Sarah Jessica Parker and company can make two massive movies out of it then I don’t see why ‘T-Rex In The City’ won’t work just as well,” said Matt.

Matt’s wardrobe made the transformation simple. Donned with a trademark velvet jacket and top hat for his new profile picture on Gumtree, he set about finding a date.
“My ad read: Marc Bolan look-a-like seeks date for internet blog,” he said, “And the response was overwhelming. The kind I thought was reserved for when someone loses his toothbrushes.”

As Matt sifted through the responses he thought he’d found an absolute stunner. “They say don’t judge a book by its cover but she was the most beautifully bound book of all books with salacious long legs and hair to die for… Well, at least that’s what I thought when I saw her from the other end of the tunnel on the seafront,” he said. 

Unfortunately, as the tall blonde emerged from the darkness into the light, she seemed to transform from a white swan into more of an ugly duckling.

“I suddenly realised there had been a mistake and the ad had been picked up by a transvestite.

“Before I could say ‘Telegram Sam’, I was dramatically pulled into the bosom of a man as he said ‘Well hello there, Mr Hot Love.

“I’m not saying this was a disaster but it was definitely unexpected.”

Despite the shock, the rest of the evening proved to be a success as the pair enjoyed a charming evening meal at Bom Banes. The Belgian cuisine was lovely and not one hair from Matt’s curly wig fell into the soup.

“The conversation was bubbly as the cocktails flowed amidst banter that was both fascinating and sillyphosical,” Matt said. “Although I did make it clear in a jovial manner that desert was strictly waffles only.” 

The Bolan attire even came in handy at the end of the night as on the way down St James’s Street, Matt’s ‘date’ started to take an extra shine to him.

“The tranny asked to borrow my metallic blue platform boots, so I tossed the feather boa round my neck and left a trail of sequins and glitter in my wake,” he said.

Let us know what adventures you’d like Matt to get up to next at www.facebook.com/latest7